“You’ve got a “Fawn” Fear Response.”
This is what your result was when you answered our Fear Response Quiz. (If you haven’t taken the quiz yet, take the Fear Response Quiz now.) Now you might be wondering, what exactly is “Fawn”? When you think of fear responses, you are only familiar with the classic “fight or flight” reaction, and yes, you may also be aware of the “freeze” response. However, there’s a fourth fear response that’s not as well-known: fawning.
“Fight”, “Flight”, and “Freeze” are the fear responses you always hear coming from both the sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous systems. But “Fawn”? “Fawn” fear response is most likely used only in connection with responding to anything related to mental health. In this article, we’ll explore what fawning is and how to recognize it?
What is “Fawn” Fear Response?
“Fawn” is the not-well-known fourth fear response that is associated with the need to avoid conflicts through appeasing behaviors. Yes, these are the people-pleasers. Fawners, or people-pleasers, repress and deny their own feelings, thoughts, and needs just to make those people they depend on feeling comfortable. Their self-worth is measured by seeking validation from others that they are acceptable and worthy of being liked. And sometimes, fawners and people-pleasers can be positively seen as “other” focused and appear to be empaths.
How to Recognize Fawning?
1. You comply fully with the requests of others without any hesitation, even if deep inside you don’t really want to do this.
2. Since you are scared of disappointing others by displeasing them in some way, you end up not questioning them.
3. You are becoming overly unhealthy by being too helpful. You go out of your way, sometimes to excess. Often, for those who are not appreciative of what you do for them.
4. You’re more concerned with making others happy. Even if, and especially if, they treat you poorly.
5. You’re having trouble saying “No” to others because you’re afraid of how they’ll react. You are always so eager to make others happy that you forget the word “No” or even just realize that it is not okay with you, and you end up blurting out “Of course!” or “Yes!”.
6. You should always seek the approval of others first. You work hard just to gain their acceptance of who you are or whatever your decisions are.
7. You’re becoming a chameleon. Yes, the reptile animal, because you change yourself depending on the situation you are in. Maybe just to avoid uneasy situations.
Just like the other fear responses, having “fawn” as your initial fear response to a situation can be automatic. Fear responses are built to keep you safe from what you are reacting to. And which fear response your body will use is already determined by your previous experiences. If you have been more inclined to one fear response due to a traumatic experience, it is not your fault anymore. If your body chose to fawn, you are not totally responsible anymore for what happened. All you need to do is to learn what fear response you are inclined most to and what coping mechanisms you can use with it.
Take the fear response quiz we’ve created just for you. At the end of this quiz, aside from learning what your fear response is, you’ll be able to identify how you’ll be able to manage and cope with the specific response your body chooses in times of conflict.
If you think you have a different fear response, you can try reading these articles:
How Does “Fight” Fear Response Manifest In Us?
5 Hidden Signs You Might Now Know About the “Flight” Response
Stuck In A Freeze Fear Response, Should I Be Worried?
4 Fear Responses: “Fight”, “Flight”, “Freeze”, and “Fawn” in Movies
Shirley Therapeutic and Consulting Services, LLC is a diverse therapy clinic that can meet the needs of anyone. If you’d like to talk about your mental health, feel free to message us here.
References:
Finch, S. D. (2019, September 30). 7 subtle signs your trauma response is people-pleasing. Healthline. Retrieved December 17, 2021, from https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/7-subtle-signs-your-trauma-response-is-people-pleasing.
MFT, R. M. (n.d.). Recognizing the C-PTSD-based Fawn Response. PACEsConnection. Retrieved December 17, 2021, from https://www.pacesconnection.com/blog/the-trauma-response-of-fawning-aka-people-pleasing-part-one
