“Say something… anything,” her mother said.
That day, she did not.
Coming from a family of preachers and speakers, Mina was always encouraged to engage with people of different ages and cultures. She had always thought that, like her parents, socializing and participating in speaking engagements would be her future. Every week, her parents brought her to church, and once in a while, to conventions. Mina never complained. She knew that these were important activities, and she was happy to accompany her parents. She knew that everything had a purpose and that these were not just activities. They were ways to connect with other people and with God.
Mina learned that conversations are essential. They could inspire people, and they could make them feel important as well. She remembered her first speech in front of her schoolmates when she was five years old. She was so nervous, but she knew that this was important, too.
She would play with the other little girls, sharing stories about princesses and fairies, or she would sit with the other children, fascinated by her father’s words. When she was old enough to understand the meaning of the words, she always clung to the quote, ‘Speak up and tell your story.’
As Mina grew up, those beliefs slowly faded. She realized that the world was too loud to hear a new story. It became too hard for her to speak up and tell her own story. She was afraid of judgment and criticism. She was fearful of not being accepted. At the back of her head, she knew that she only did those things to be showered with love because that’s what felt pleasing to them. She remembered how uncomfortable she really was when she was a little girl, hiding behind her mother, giving fake smiles, talking to strangers, and being forced to introduce herself. She was afraid of talking to people, and she never understood why.
Upon entering secondary school, Mina preferred to keep things simple and not overthink things. She became observant of the people around her, realizing that everybody wanted to be heard, but they couldn’t find someone to vent to. She knew it because she was one of them. It was extra hard for her because she was never comfortable sharing her stories and opening herself up. That’s why she tended to bottle her emotions up. Her fear of conversing fueled her fear of being alone.
Even though Mina had a wide circle of friends, she was always known for being the loudest to laugh but the most silent to speak up. She discovered that she loved listening to their stories, and in fact, her friends would describe her as a great listener. She decided to be that person that everyone could confide in, and even though she wasn’t one, Mina took on the role of a counselor. She told herself that if she could help one person through their problems, then she had done her job. Somehow, she understood that this would be one way to avoid being alone.
Throughout her time in high school, she tried to be friends with everyone, and she would often find herself being the person people came to for advice. She knew she was being relied on, but she didn’t mind because she wanted to help and be there for other people. She also realized that everybody had their own problems, but nobody wanted to be completely alone.
In due course, Mina found her purpose and became a mental health professional. She came to the realization that her fear of speaking up led her to her passion and purpose. When she discovered what she loved doing, she started doing more of it.
Like Mina, you can also learn to face and use your fears to your advantage. You can discover what you need to practice using your fears and bring yourself closer to peace and to your purpose.
By taking the 4Ps Quiz, you can identify which P (peace, passion, pleasure, and purpose) is lacking in your life to be able to face and handle your fears.
