Green flags and red flags. We’ve all been seeing these kinds of posts all over the internet. Red flags are those you don’t want in a relationship that most of the time only affects you negatively psychologically. These are the things to be aware of to avoid being in a toxic relationship. While green flags are the things you want in a relationship, they are also the things that bring peace in your relationships. That feeling of peace despite your differences and a few misunderstandings with the people you’re in a relationship with.
So you’re wondering now…
“How do I know if I’m with someone who is a green flag?”
The answer to your question is very simple. You should feel at peace in your relationship! You know that you’re in a healthy and non-toxic relationship when you’re always in a state of calm despite the presence of stressors. But how do we really know that you feel at peace in a relationship? We’ll answer that below.
Peace in Family and Friends
“You shouldn’t do that!”
“You’re still young! You don’t know what you’re talking about!”
“He’s not the right one for you!”
These are the lines you’ll usually hear from your family or friends. And did you know that these are actually one of the lines of an Inner Peace Thief? Yes! They might be stealing your inner peace, but despite all of this, you know you’re at peace with your family and friends when you’ll still feel calm and unbothered no matter what they do or say to you.
Peace at Work
“Can you do this for me?”
“You’re no use in this company!”
“You’re taking a break (or leave) again?!”
While at work, these are some of the lines of an Inner Peace Thief. And to contradict these thieves, you’ll know you’re at peace with your relationship with your co-workers when you set your boundaries with them. You know when to say “No.” (Just like how you’ll still take that break or leave because you deserve it!)
Peace in Romantic Relationships
“You’re overreacting!”
“You’re just being too sensitive.”
“You’re just misinterpreting everything again!”
Gaslighting. This is the most common kind of peace thief you’ll encounter in your personal relationships. The best thing to do here to keep your peace is to trust yourself always. You know yourself more than anyone. You can keep your peace if you’ll trust yourself no matter what.
Basically, the very first step in knowing the feeling of peace in a relationship is to identify the red flags in the relationship and then learn how to deal with them. And another important thing to remember is that being at peace in a relationship can work in two ways: either you do it with the people in the relationship or you keep the peacefulness inside you despite what kind of person you are with. In this time, we cannot always depend on the changes and green flags we want to have with other people. We sometimes need to do it on our own, and maybe they’ll just imitate what we do.
Shirley Therapeutic and Consulting Services, LLC is a diverse therapy clinic that can meet the needs of anyone. If you’d like to talk about your mental health, feel free to message us.
