As we celebrate the month of Pride, it is important that we get to learn and understand more about the perspective of our family and friends that are members of the LGBTQ+ community.
Being a member of the LGBTQ+ community has been more accepted nowadays compared to years and years before, but of course, the discrimination hasn’t gone away yet. Most of the members have experienced being discriminated against at least more than once in their lives just because they identify themselves as anyone under the LGBTQ+ umbrella.
Discrimination is not the only problem that they experience. Other negative experiences they encounter are their mental health being at risk of having anxiety and depression; a higher suicide risk; a lack of social support; and last, the fear of finding true love. In this article we will be focusing on the fear of finding true love for members of the LGBTQ+ community. We will be exploring the reasons behind why they are afraid of finding true love and the signs that show they are afraid of falling in love.
Why Do LGBTQ+ People Have A Fear Of Finding True Love?
The fear of finding true love for the LGBTQ+ community comes from a lifetime of self-repression and/or bullying. Gay people often have issues that cause their fear of finding love because they think that it will negatively affect their ability to establish healthy intimate relationships.
Because of all of these issues, it can be difficult for some to be vulnerable with someone else, especially when so many of them are uncomfortable being vulnerable with themselves.
Another reason for this fear manifesting in the LGBTQ+ community is the discrimination they have experienced. Due to this, some may think they are undeserving of true love because this has been what they have been bullied for. Because they are LGBTQ+, they are different from everyone else and they don’t deserve what other people have.
All of these are what run through the minds of some of our friends from the LGBTQ+ community, but let us remember that this is not true. It is not true that they don’t deserve to find true love. That they don’t deserve the same respect that heterosexual people do. So if you know someone who is a member of the LGBTQ+ community, I believe it wouldn’t hurt to give them an extra love or an extra hug today after you finish reading this article.
Signs That You Are Afraid To Fall In Love (LGBTQ+ Version)
- You Past Is Also Your Present.
When you meet someone who you seem to really really like, you totally get lost, and you get freaked out. Why? because your past comes back into your head again. Right away, you think about all the negative words other people have said to you, and you’re incorporating those people and what they said to this new person you really really like now. Then your emotions are all over the place.
- You’re Afraid To Trust Others.
Just because you’ve been bullied and had your heart broken before does not mean that it will happen again. Everyone is different; you just have to learn to trust again. Remember how much you trust your family and close friends? Try to give the same trust you have in them to some people you’ll meet.
- You Don’t Want To Be Vulnerable.
Most people, hetero or not, are afraid to be vulnerable. It’s a scary thing to feel vulnerable. Falling in love and feeling loved is scary. It is scary that it might be just for a short period of time or maybe it is all fake. But if you’re just starting to fall in love, try to feel it. Just feel it. You might discover that being vulnerable to your feelings is not really a bad thing to be frowned upon.
- You Push Away People.
Pushing away people is not all about literally pushing them away. This could be shown as not making an effort to meet new people, or ending up ghosting this cute person you just had a date with. And those who tend to manifest this sign are also defensive when you call them out on this behavior of theirs.
- You Don’t Feel Worthy Of Love.
Because of everything that has happened to you, you think that you’re not worthy of love. In reality, it doesn’t matter what your past is, if you’re afraid to trust again, if you don’t want to be vulnerable, if you push people away, or if you’re a member of the LGBTQ+ community or not, because no matter what or who you are, you are still very much worthy of love.
In the end, knowing your true self is very important. It is great that you already know where you identify yourself. But let us all remember that no matter how you identify or who you become, you are still a human being. A human being who deserves to find true love, who will find their true love, and who will feel what true love is.
Also, being a member of the LGBTQ+ community does not exempt you from facing struggles with your mental health. It actually puts you more at risk. That’s why it is important to always remember that it is okay to ask for help from a mental health professional like us. Shirley Therapeutic and Consulting Services, LLC is a diverse therapy clinic that can meet the needs of anyone. If you’d like to talk about your mental health, feel free to message us here.
References:
Knight, T., Knight, T., Robledo, J., & Robledo, J. (2020, June 16). Why do so many gay men struggle to find the relationship they crave so much? GAY TIMES. Retrieved May 27, 2022, from https://www.gaytimes.co.uk/life/looking-for-love-in-a-modern-gay-world/
Pall, B. (2017, February 20). 10 reasons why gay dating is really hard. HuffPost. Retrieved May 27, 2022, from https://www.huffpost.com/entry/10-reasons-why-gay-dating-is-really-hard_b_58aaefaee4b0fa149f9ac8c6
Rissa, & Rissa (98 Articles Published) Rissa is a writer. (2016, June 30). 15 signs you’re afraid of Love. TheTalko. Retrieved May 27, 2022, from https://www.thetalko.com/15-signs-youre-afraid-of-love/
